Is Your Soul Choking?

This is a little different… sometimes I let my pen take over!

Have you ever felt like your soul is choking?
A taste of freedom comes fleetingly…
A glimpse here and there
The light gets in the cracks
And fills the space with beauty
And for a moment you feel lighter
All of your problems washed away
But that light shines on a black blob
And you don’t want to look
And you feel yourself shrinking back
Closing off
Shutting out the light
It’s too dangerous
It’s too risky

While the light is beautiful
It takes risks with your secrets
Someone might see the darkness you think
The darkness you feel
The hate you spill inside of yourself
The secret shames you carry
Yours and others
You close the blinds
It’s just silly to dream anyway
Fairy tales aren’t real
There is no prince or white horse
There is no one coming to save you
And you’d be best suited to remember that
Turn away from the light
Close the door
Put the walls back in place
Forget the light
The brightness
It’s too sparkly, it’s too bright
You can’t hide your flaws in it
But you don’t yet know
You’re not supposed to
The light shines on the darkness
So you can see it’s not as scary
As you always thought
Secrets are better told to someone
There is nothing that is unforgivable
Nothing
Shame lives in silence
The darkness isn’t your haven
It’s your prison
But only you can open the blinds
Light can come to your door
It can knock
It can ask for a glass of water
But it can’t come in if you don’t let it
Maybe the darkness once saved you
Maybe closing off helped you survive
But now it’s robbing you of your very soul
And it’s choking
Crying desperately for the light
Don’t close it off
Let it shine on all of your dark spots
So you know what needs the most love
“Show me your darkness so I know what to love first”
Tonya
xoxo

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